Bleh Blah Bling

No sooner do I win $3k in a couple of days, then I lose it all in the next 2 days. It's annoying that my confidence is so fragile that literally one bad session had it shattered, but I think until I stick 500,000 solid hands behind me then t'will always be thus.

Looking through all the big losing pots of the last few days, there's all the symptoms and hallmarks of lacking confidence. Outrageous spews, refusal to give up, 4bets flatted 100bbs OOP with small PPs, 3bet/ 5bets with no instinctive gut feeling that I'm getting a lot of folds.....

I can feel myself during gametime 'forcing' things as well. Making decisions for the wrong reasons, trying to fight the utter spew of the 200nl regs with utter spew of my own.

Basically, I need to chill the fuck out. Take the low variance option when I'm unsure. Be calm, soulread hands, capitalise on mistakes. For all the reasons I need to relax. When I'm not relaxed, I don't know how to play poker. My brain stops telling me what button to click. I take a wild stab, and on current form I'd be better rolling a dice as I don't think my success % has come anywhere near 33%.

For some reason as well during my troubles I've suddenly had trouble 12 tabling. Very weird, when I was winning it felt like I could play 20 tables without breaking sweat. I'm going to drop to 9 tables for a while. Theoretically my hourly drops by 25%, but I'd be shocked if my EV didn't rise by at least that amount to compensate.

Finish on a good note though which is rare for this blog. I think my A game makes me the best 200nl reg on Stars, and by a distance. I know what my A game involves, and I have the gist of how to play my A game. Before this crisis I was cruising to a 5 figure month, and if I follow these cliffs then I should do extremely well the rest of the month.

Be happy.

Chill the fuck out/ be relaxed.

Hate to lose.

Don't force stuff.

Soulread hands.

Trust instinct always.