Mental Clearup

I've had a few days of not-mental-greatness, and just need to write some stuff out to clear mind and reset it. I've had some mental leaks creep in, or at least noticed symptoms of mental leaks. For example, indulging in checking my monthly results so far, and my bankroll. This can seem fine at the time, but then leads to trouble when you lose a few BIs. Basically, you can't have it both ways, you can't be all 'oh yippe my BRs up to $10k' and then not be tilted at losing a few stacks.

So I need to back to mental basics. There's 14 working days of the month left, and that equals around 60-70k hands. I can't control the amount of money I win or lose in that sample, but I can make sure that I'm making 5/bb decisions in every spot. I've definitely got disengaged from the mindset of 'every spot is just another chance to make a 5/bb decision'. Being without this mindset leads to entitlement when the board runs out bad, and frustration at mistakes and runbad. I also really need to remember that mistakes, runbad, bad boards etc all form part of a decent winrate, and therefore that doesn't mean such a winrate is unattainable when a marginal river call goes wrong, or AA << KK 3 times in a session.

Money lost- this has been mildly tilting me for sure. If I've been down on the day, it's been annoying me. But until such a time as month end, money won or lost is an illusion. Nothing is won or lost until such time as we elect to check results, and if we must be mindful of money 'down', then simply view it as an investment in our edge which will eventually be back with interest so long as we put in enough good quality hands.

I have a few life things faintly preying on my mind too, so today I have to make a Leggo vid or 2, open letters, respond to letters etc. Apparently the games have been really good like 2am onwards, so hopefully by then I'll be super pysched with mental A game. Until then, shoring up my F game to be more of a B game has been a good start.