Tough Times

The month so far has been brutal, I mean really brutal. Easily the worst 9 days since I started playing poker.

These next few paragraphs will be the last time I mention this stuff, because this blog is looking forward. I'm $9k below EV at roughly 50% 400nl 50% 200nl. 10k hands. This doesn't matter. The reason is doesn't matter, is that on previous form this would make me probably breakeven on the month. The fact my EV adjusted is close to zero is a pathetic indictment of the way I must've been playing.

Of course, had I not ran so bad in all in spots, then my confidence and tilt control would've been higher and my actual results would be way higher. This isn't an excuse, just an observation that the $ consequences of running far below EV are exponentially much higher than the amount stated in HEM.

Lastly on the subject of past, I don't really believe too much in holdem downswings. What I mean by that, is that I think the variance involved is vastly overstated for a good player. GuiGui wins every single day, as does Nano. In the past, when my head and life and everything is perfect, so have I, for like months and months and months over 100s of sessions and 100ks of hands. What I'm basically saying is that whenever I see a boo hoo 30BI downswing graph, I just see a 1ptbb or breakeven rakeback pro who really shouldn't be that suprised. Given my own recent results that's exactly what I must be right now.

200nl- I haven't been respecting it. Even playing guys as tough as carrotsnake, lrdofdarkness, hardcory, I've been clicking buttons impatiently waiting to win money. I tried moving down to 4 tables the other, I got bored and went back to 6. Now, it's only possible to get bored playing 4 tables when you don't understand or have forgotten or no longer care about all the subtleties that matter. No hand in poker is easy to play in a 100% optimal fashion these days, and what I need to recover is the single (very interesting) goal of playing each hand as optimally as possible considering every possible variable, angle, and level.

I've had enough of losing. My competitive pride is extremely sore at the moment, and sulking and being petulant and losing on purpose and throwing money around and hoping to be sucked out on so I can whine some more and basically looking back- is going to get me absolutely nowhere.

So, a renewed focus on each and every hand (4 tables, timing often), and thus a renewed focus on the technical side in this blog. This helps a) improve me technically b) gets me in the right frame of mind c) helps me to remember that winning just can't be taken for granted. FWIW, I think that my technical theory is really good right now, and when I make a video or respond in forums I find myself having really good and original insights left right and centre. My current problem is application, and respect.

Very very detailed review to follow this 45 minute 200nl session.

dan