Worst Day Ever!

Hmm. This is not what I needed right now. Basically my worst single day in well over 2.5 years. I am struggling to comprehend how I going to regain my mental composure and ever get it back.

I guess the trick is to forget about it. Hmm, but forgetting might mean it happens again. It seems absurd, my brain is telling me I was smashed in the face by the deck time and time again, but clearly I'm not thinking straight and I must've tilted and played horribad to lose this much to the regs and fish I was playing, all worse players than me.

So I'm stuck $7.9k on the month, but still have a bankroll which wouldn't always have been the case! Not on Stars.com alas, I only had $4k on there anyway as I played so few games, but the deep 600nl games were extremely unkind to me today. I transferred the rest of the roll to someone, as I'll explain in a second. My current roll then after this episode is 8808 Euros, or $11,628. I have a few pending bonuses but best to forget about them.

The only way from here is to improve. My technical game is at the point where any improvements are going to be fairly small, so I must focus on the non technical side. What I lack at the moment is structure, I'm sitting down to play, telling myself to stop at 60 minutes, but then continuing if I'm stuck and then getting even more stuck! And despite it seeming so, I clearly don't have my A game enough.

On a technical sidenote, I've been way too loose PF both in my UTG raises and getting it in preflop. To lower my variance I have to go back to flatting 3bets more, and there's just no excuse for my lazy JQo utg opens.

So anyway, see above. I've transferred my remaining Stars roll to a friend of mine. If I don't meet the terms of my structure prop then he will share it out amongst all you readers of this blog. To be in with a chance, just comment on the blog. This is being done under 'gamblers honour' terms, meaning if I don't complete my structure prop then you can go raise hell on 2p2 and Leggo and stuff about how I owe you money. Basically, I WANT to be forced to give it away if I don't complete my tasks, so you're actually doing me a favour by asking for a slice.

The Structure Prop, Tasks

The prop will run until and including February 29th. On each day until then I must post a blog here. The blog will contain the following:

• A screenshot of my session screen in HM. All my sessions played since the start of the prop will be visible.
• A review of 4 hands, my 3 biggest losing hand, and a fourth hand where I felt I had a problem.
• A review of my current session goals, and possibly marks / 10.

I must post a blog after every session. The fact I have done this will be verifiable from the session screen. Each session must be less than 90 minutes long, as recorded by the 'minutes played' column. My own timer will be set to end the session at 75 minutes, so this gives a 15 minute cushion. If a session is randomly ~ 5 minutes over or something this will not compromise the bet.

Bleh, so that's it. I guess this blog is just therapy so I don't go and do a Gary Speed, giving me some hope and some goals and a direction. There will be no more talk of the month, or of this day. I'm setting the HEM filter to be after this session, and refusing to dwell on it.

Above all, it is now my firm belief that by carrying out all of the above I'll have success. Short term results don't matter, approaching poker in the proper way does. Roll on the rest of the month!

dan